“Intentional living is the art of making our own choices before others’ choices make us.” -Richie Norton
In a world dominated by the constant buzz of smartphones, I decided to take on an intriguing challenge: a week without my phone.
Modern society has an almost obsessive relation with their devices. People fear leaving the house without their phone, missing out on life if they don’t instantly read their latest messages, or can’t live with the boredom that life often presents so they instead scroll through the endless feed of social media. Phones seem to have become digital extensions of our beings.
The phone is by no means a bad invention. In fact, I think it is one of the greatest inventions humanity has ever made. It provides instant access to connecting with friends, a digital realm to ideate and explore, a place to learn through the wisdom of the collective human knowledge on the internet, and that’s not even mentioning the amazing cameras, navigation, or access to quality entertainment.
However, this technology does come with it’s pitfalls. With any great innovation comes challenges that society will face and be forced to adapt. And herein lies my reason for the challenge.
Why do this?
My decision to live without a phone for a week was driven by a desire for intentional living. Despite my efforts to steer clear of social media and lower-minded activities, I realized that my phone usage was still taking up considerable time. This experiment aimed to uncover what aspects of phone use were truly essential and how I could align my actions more closely with my higher goals.
Even with my best intentions, I found myself on my phone much more than I desired. Whether that be opening up my LinkedIn feed, playing some games of chess, or watching philosophy, climbing, or running videos on YouTube, I found that hours of my day would pass without my notice. After these times I find myself in regret for the time spent, just to do the same thing the next day. This would take time away from higher goals of mine, such as blogging, reading, learning piano, and experimenting with AI.
I chose to do this experiment to show to myself that I am not reliant on my phone. I wanted to see what I craved most about it, what I can remove, and if I can live a more intentional life directed towards my higher goals during the time. So with that, let’s get into the experiment!
The Experiment
The first day of the experiment brought about unexpected sensations— phantom vibrations, a tangible yearning for my absent device. This reassured me that the experiment was off to a promising start, as these are the aspects I hope to reduce.
Throughout the week, I encountered both the challenges and benefits of living without a smartphone. While I missed the practical conveniences of calling friends during walks, using GPS, and capturing spontaneous moments with the camera, I also found a certain serenity in the absence of constant stimulation. The experiment exposed me to a kind of pleasant boredom, a state I had previously often avoided by diving into the digital realm for instant gratification.
Surprisingly, these moments of boredom became a valuable canvas for intentional living. Deprived of the immediate escape offered by my phone, I actively engaged with the stillness around me. In doing nothing, I discovered a deeper joy, a kind of inner peace, a skill often overlooked in a world that constantly demands our attention.
Simultaneously, I realized that the absence of my phone didn't hinder my ability to pursue leisure activities that I enjoy. While I hadn't completely eliminated chess games or YouTube from my life during the experiment, the time I spent on these activities became more intentional and fulfilling. The experiment prompted a heightened awareness of the time spent on lower-priority endeavors, leading to a more purposeful allocation of my attention.
Despite the positive outcomes, I observed that the experiment didn't result in a significant increase in focus on some of my other higher-minded goals, such as blogging or learning the piano. While I did concentrate more on reading (highly recommend Dune and Nonviolent Communication) and meditation, those other goals still fell short. This realization was unexpected, and I attribute it to the fact that while I increased friction towards negative activities, I hadn't actively decreased friction towards these specific positive goals.
And that idea brings me to the overarching lesson I learned from this experiment: the importance of friction modulation.
Modulating Friction
You know when you’re sitting at a large meal, dessert is still on the table, and everyone is sitting around still conversing. You know you’re full. In fact, you don’t even want another cookie or fruit slice, but you instinctively find yourself reaching for another. And another. It takes much willpower to resist the desire to continue to eat. This is due to the pull of our limbic system which has been programmed through thousands of years of evolution to crave sugary food.
This lure is not only existent for food. It exists for many of our animalistic impulses such as the drive behind procrastination, sexual stimulation, and none other than our phones.
The limbic system is much more energy-efficient than the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain responsible for logical, long-term thinking. As such the brain aims to use it as much as possible. This causes these moments of perplexity when you know you don’t want to do an action, like eat another piece of food or go on your phone, but even so you find yourself doing the exact thing you didn’t want to do.
Knowing this, how might we use this idea to more easily lead us to our higher goals? Well, we can modulate the friction required to engage in certain activities. If we want to not be lured by our limbic system then increase the friction for a certain task. Remove any unhealthy foods that you’d like to resist from your house or, like I did, make a rule that you can’t use your phone.
Similarly, for activities that you want to do, say exercise or learn a new skill, do things to lower the initial energy required to begin. Put out post-its reminding you of the activity, lay out the necessary equipment, have a social group providing positive motivation, or other such methods to reduce the necessary friction.
In adopting this approach, we gain increased control over the formidable impulses of the limbic system precisely where we seek additional autonomy. By strategically adjusting the friction, increasing it for addictive and reflexive actions, and lowering it for our desired pursuits, we level the playing field in terms of the initial energy required to engage in either. This equilibrium makes the choice between the two more accessible, empowering us to choose the path aligned with our genuine intentions. In essence, this intentional modulation of friction emerges as a powerful tool, facilitating a more purposeful and deliberate approach to our lives.
Takeaways
Reflecting on the week of the experiment, the insights gained will help guide me to architect a life with more intentional living. It revealed the need for balance between the constant connectivity and intentional boundaries. While positive outcomes were evident, the experiment also revealed the need for a more nuanced approach.
The realization that simply increasing friction for negative habits wasn’t enough, as demonstrated by my lack of increase in goals such as piano and blogging. This highlights the importance of not only setting artificial boundaries, but also strategically reducing the friction for positive endeavors.
As we continue through journeying through this world of ours, the allure of addictive technologies will continue to emerge. The smartphone itself is being challenged by new innovations such as XR headsets, AR glasses, and even a new AI pin aimed to replace the smartphone. These technologies will surely bring their many positives, but the challenge of being intentional in our use of them may pose challenging.
This tool of friction modulation and setting intentional boundaries is a powerful tool to help guide us towards a more purposeful existence. This experiment served as a catalyst for me to better learn how to manage this interplay between impulses and intention, setting me on the path towards a more fulfilling life. I hope that you all can use these tools and what I learned to do the same for yourself and take control over your life.
Very interesting concept with modulating friction in both directions. I look forward to experimenting with both positive and negative friction in the near future - just probably not with my phone! Thanks for sharing!